Is My Husband an Alcoholic?
Having a husband who drinks too much can be stressful, frightening, and lonely. You may be the only one that has real insight into how problematic his drinking has become lately. But how can you be sure his drinking is really bad enough to qualify him as an alcoholic? Let’s take a look at how to determine if someone has alcohol use disorder, more commonly known as alcoholism.
What Is Alcoholism/Alcohol Use Disorder?
Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is a type of substance use disorder that can be found in the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Disorders Fifth Edition” (DSM-5), published by the American Psychiatric Association.
The DSM-5 is used by mental health, substance use, and medical professionals to diagnose and treat mental health and substance use disorders. If your husband is assessed by a mental health, substance use, or medical professional, they will be following the diagnostic criteria from the DSM-5 to determine if your husband may have AUD.
Symptoms of Alcoholism/Alcohol Use Disorder
Although extremely useful and informative, the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria for alcohol use disorder can be difficult for the layperson to consume and apply to their real-life situation.
Using the diagnostic criteria for alcohol use disorder as a framework, if you answer “Yes” to two or more of the following questions, then it is safe to assume that your husband may be struggling with AUD. Keep in mind these signs and symptoms would need to be happening for at least a 12-month or longer time period.
Has your husband consumed alcohol in larger amounts or over a longer period than he initially planned to? Often, a person’s plan is not to overindulge in alcohol to the point of sickness, passing out, struggling with a hangover the next day, etc. However, the brain changes that happen for someone struggling with alcohol addiction have powerful and lasting behavioral effects.
Has your husband been unsuccessful at reducing or stopping alcohol use? Think back to past efforts you or your husband have made to reduce or eliminate his alcohol use. Were they successful? It can be discouraging to reflect on past failed attempts at trying to control alcohol use. Alcohol addiction treatment may be the next right step for your husband.
Is there a lot of time spent in trying to get alcohol, use alcohol, or recover from the effects of alcohol (being hungover)? You or your husband may frequent grocery and liquor stores to maintain a constant supply of alcohol at home. You may feel frustrated by how much family time is lost due to your husband’s drinking. From your observations, your husband may be drinking or hungover most days. Time is precious, and it can be upsetting to think about how much time can be spent on alcohol and drug use.
Are there strong cravings and urges to use alcohol? Perhaps it is difficult to have conversations or engage in activities that do not involve consuming alcohol. To you, it appears the primary goal of your husband is always to get more and more alcohol. From your observations, you may see that your husband is very eager to get to the next drink when alcohol is not readily available to him. There is a craving and urge for more alcohol. It appears he is never fully satisfied.
Have you observed that your husband is failing to fulfill major role duties at work, school, or home due to his alcohol use? This could look like not taking on a Little League coaching position, missing dance recitals or games, and skipping reading bedtime stories to kids because it cuts into the early afternoon and later evening drinking time. Maybe your kids have started to take note of Dad acting “weird” when he drinks, which may include slipping and falling, slurring his words, being forgetful, falling asleep, and snapping at them.
Your husband may be too hungover to function at work. Being hungover results in him taking more days off work. Your husband may have lower productivity at work. He may fail to successfully complete work projects and assignments. Other co-workers may take notice of the tired, irritable sound and look of being hungover. There may even be times when he is drinking on the job or right after the job. If he operates a vehicle for his job role, he may have impairment that leads to the loss of his driver’s license and his job.
If your husband is enrolled in school, he may not be performing at the academic level you know he is capable of. Your husband might miss assignment deadlines and tests due to drinking or being hungover. He may even reduce his school workload or drop out altogether to focus the majority of his time and attention on his alcohol use.
Has your husband had relationship issues as a result of alcohol use? This could look like problematic relationships with you, his children, other family members, friends, co-workers, etc. In general, people are not pleasant and jolly to be around when they are drunk or hungover. When drunk, your husband may fall asleep and leave you to manage the kids and household alone. He may say or shout hurtful things to you or your kids. These harmful memories sting you all, but he may have difficulty even recalling the events that happened. When hungover, your husband may be irritable, tired, and grouchy. This certainly does not help the morale and functioning of your family.
You may find yourself “covering up” for your husband when you are communicating with extended family or close friends. You may minimize the effects of his use, hide the amount of liquor that is in the house, and create excuses for why he is not actively involved in the family anymore. Do not feel shame if this is describing your response to your husband’s alcohol use. Drug and alcohol problems in a family take a toll on everyone involved. Often, we aren’t given a playbook on how to best respond.
There are resources available for families and partners of people with AUD, such as Al-Anon meetings. If your husband seeks alcohol addiction treatment, he may provide permission for you to have involvement in family or couple counseling sessions. This may be a “safe space” for him to learn the impact of his alcohol use upon the family and your vision for a healthier future.
Has your husband done fewer or completely given up important social, work, or recreational activities as a result of alcohol use? Maybe your husband is not going to the gym with you like he used to. He opts out of an alcohol-free work party. Nothing is as enjoyable as it used to be. You observe a pattern of your husband giving up healthy behaviors to make more room for alcohol use instead.
It may feel like alcohol has taken away not only your husband but the social activities you used to enjoy together. Recovery is possible with alcohol addiction treatment. Take hope that this does not have to be your permanent reality — change is always possible.
Does your husband continue to use alcohol in situations where he could be physically harmed? There may be drinking and driving. In the case of drinking and driving, your husband is at increased risk of having an accident and harming himself and/or others. Your husband may fall and have bruises or other injuries when under the influence of alcohol. He may even have work-related injuries that result from drinking. Maybe there are bar brawls your husband frequently gets into when he’s had one too many at the local pub.
Does your husband continue to use alcohol despite having physical or psychological problems that are caused or made worse by his alcohol use? Your husband may have high blood pressure, liver damage, and weight gain that are a result of drinking, yet he still continues to drink. During his yearly physical, your husband may have heard his doctor express concerns for his weight and functioning due to drinking. However, your husband quickly brushes the concerns off as he does not agree that there’s a strong link between his poor health and his alcohol use.
Before he had struggles with drinking, your husband may have had mild sad, depressive thoughts and worries. Now with more drinking, it seems like his mental health issues are even worse than before. He has sad feelings and expresses hopelessness for the future, spends more time in bed, does not get enough sleep or gets way too much sleep, does not eat enough or eats way too much, etc. The worry is time-consuming and exhausting. These physical or psychological problems caused by drinking can also contribute to his desire to drink. You may be feeling tired of seeing this cycle of behavior continue in the man that you love.
Does your husband have an increased tolerance for alcohol? Your husband may need more and more alcohol to get drunk or feel the buzz he wants to. It seems like two beers isn’t cutting it anymore. He easily plows through a case of beer in just a few days. You are frustrated by the grocery bill as alcohol is taking up more and more of your grocery cart and paycheck with every visit.
Does your husband’s body go into withdrawal if he stops or slows down his drinking? Withdrawal from alcohol may include, but is not limited to: sweating, hands shaking, not being able to sleep, nausea or vomiting, seeing or hearing things that are not really there, and anxiety. Your husband may drink to relieve or avoid feeling withdrawal symptoms.
How Common Are Struggles With Alcohol?
According to Alcohol Abuse Statistics, 95,000 Americans die yearly from the effects of alcohol use, 7% of drinking adults qualify for alcohol use disorder, and 60% of people have increased their alcohol use during COVID-19 lockdowns.
Compared to its population, Arizona has a high number of alcohol-related deaths. There are 2,629 annual deaths attributable to excessive alcohol use. Of those annual deaths, 70.2% of the deaths are male, 57.1% of the deaths are due to chronic causes such as alcohol use disorder, 83.5% of the deaths are among people 35 years old or older, and 3.0% of the deaths affect people under the age of 21. Based on data on alcohol consumption from 2011 to 2015, Arizona averages one alcohol-related death per year for every 2,146 adults over the age of 18 or 4.7 deaths for every 10,000 adults.
Alcohol Treatment Options at Pinnacle Peak Recovery
Answering the alcohol use disorder questions posed may have been emotionally difficult for you. It may have further confirmed your suspicions that your husband does indeed have an alcohol use problem. You may be wondering: What do I do now? Where do I even start?
At Pinnacle Peak Recovery, there is alcoholism rehabilitation treatment available. Pinnacle Peak Recovery offers safe medical detox, a partial hospitalization program (PHP), and an intensive outpatient program (IOP). This is referred to as a step-down treatment approach. When your husband successfully completes detox, he may receive the recommendation to attend PHP. PHP lasts about 45 days and includes the option to return home or stay at a sober living home nearby.
Upon successful completion of PHP, your husband may be advised to go to IOP. IOP includes three evenings per week of counseling and lasts about 60 days. Of course, your husband will be continually monitored by our medical and mental health professional staff members. They will provide appropriate recommendations based on the progress made toward his treatment goals.
Access Quality Care at Pinnacle Peak Recovery
No one should have to battle alcohol addiction alone. How wonderful it is that you are here, taking the time to read this blog and learning more information to help your husband struggling with alcohol use.
The caring staff at Pinnacle Peak Recovery would like to assist you and your husband on the journey to his recovery. Please call us today at (866) 954-0524 to aid your husband in taking the first step toward a healthier lifestyle.
FAQs
What qualifies you as an alcoholic?
Alcohol use disorder is a type of substance use disorder. Examples of the symptoms of alcohol use disorder include, but are not limited to: having unsuccessful attempts at reducing or stopping alcohol use; spending a great deal of time getting and using alcohol; craving or having a strong urge for alcohol; and having difficulties at school, work, and home as a result of alcohol use.
When should I worry about my husband’s drinking?
You may have a reason for concern when there are problems caused or made worse as a result of alcohol use. For example, he may have problems functioning at his best at work, school, or home due to alcohol use. You may notice your husband withdrawing from family activities and hobbies to continue his alcohol use. Perhaps he has tried to reduce or stop his alcohol use, yet it continues to persist. All of these things are red flags signaling that your husband’s drinking has shifted from social drinking to a more problematic pattern of alcohol use. It is best to be assessed by a medical or mental health professional to get recommendations for care.
How do I know if my partner is drinking?
You can gain knowledge of your partner’s drinking patterns from your own observation or from anyone around them while they are drinking, such as friends, family, co-workers, etc. The signs of alcohol use disorder listed above may also prove useful.
Why does my husband drink so much?
According to the DSM-5, there are both environmental and genetic or biological factors that lead to alcohol use disorder. Environmental factors include cultural attitudes toward drinking and drunkenness, the availability and price of alcohol, personal experiences with alcohol, and stress levels. Alcohol use disorder runs in families. The rate of having AUD is three to four times higher in close relatives of people with alcohol use disorder. Keep in mind, it is not fair or accurate to blame yourself for your partner’s alcohol use.